With the high rate of divorce in this country, it is more important than ever to know what it takes to provide pro active step parenting that gives kids the atmosphere that they need to be healthy and secure. There are many aspects to step parenting that can affect all of the relationships in your new found family. Here is some child custody help for step parents.
As long as the other parent is still a part of the child’s life, you should never expect to take their place. Even if the other person is deceased, you will never be able to take the place of the biological parent, and trying to do so will only lead to friction. Accept your role as a step parent and work on the relationship that you do have.
Don’t be in a hurry to make a child like and accept you and don’t get upset when he or she makes it clear that you are resented for being in their life. Don’t lose your cool, just deal with the situation calmly. Looking at the bigger perspective will help you realize that the child’s outbursts are probably just a phase.
It’s important to have a plan. Talk to your spouse about the role you will play in step parenting the child or children. Decide ahead of time how you will handle outbursts and other situations so that you aren’t caught off-guard.
Always be there for the child. Everything matters whether it is taking the time to drive him somewhere or to answer questions or help with homework. Giving the child preference over other activities will help them to know you can be counted on when it matters.
Find something that you both enjoy. If it’s a sport you both like to play or one that you enjoy as a spectator, share your joy of it together. Focus on becoming a stable part of your stepchild’s life, and you will begin building a unique relationship.
Stay out of things that really don’t concern you. As difficult as it may be to distance yourself from some of the decisions in the child’s life, it is important to stay out of some of the parenting decisions that need to be made.
Never criticize or fight with the “other” parent in your stepchild’s presence. If you already have a strained relationship with the child, criticizing his other parent will make things worse. If you have a good relationship with your stepchild, criticizing the other parent can make your stepchild feel like he has to choose between the important adults in his life.
Not every situation is the same. For some, step parenting means taking an active role in raising a child while for others it is more a matter of providing a peaceful atmosphere where everyone respects each other’s feelings. The most important thing you can do to help with the child custody is discuss your expectations with your spouse in the beginning and develop a plan for making things work.
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